THIS JUST IN!!! new insight into the alleged BeardNAP

The big news at twelvty reported on the somethingth of January about the sinister beard nap of a mr Simon(e) by a Mr Peter(e).

The News at Twelvty has just recieved photo (an actual photo!!) of the first attempted beard robbing by Mr Peter some weeks prior to the actual incident. But it now appears the beard robbing was not as clear cut as a simple passionate petulant "if i can't have a beard no one can" thing.

It may look like a friendly banteresque hug of brotherly love.But in fact if you look closer you can see Simon tries to pull Peters lovely, slightly greying but thats ok cos it makes them distinguished lookin locks off, as Peter tries to stangles Simon til his beard falls out.

It is a little known fact that although Simon has been able to grow facial hair from a very young age, head hair has new come easy to him.

Beardgate.........The truth

Like 'em or hate 'em, Beards have made a comeback of late. They are easily grown, medium maintainance, and add character, or in the case of some years to a mans face. They are also useful for hiding horrible looking scars.

Yesterday, Monday 23 January, intrepid traveller Simon Sayz "accidentally" shaved off his world famous "broom" beard. He is now beardless....and I mean this in the nicest possible way he looks a bit funny. But how ridiculous he looks is not the subject under scruntiny.

There was mixed reaction to the news. People were shocked and devasted, some were slightly relieved at the news that the beard was gone.

Close school chum, Greg Gory, commented, "I think he even had in primary school. In fact I vaguely remember teasing him over it when he was 6! I shouldn't have. I still can't grow one. Now he teases me."

But the big news at twelvty smelt a rat. A Peter shaped rat. A Peter, who having sported a fine beard for months gave into the heat and shaved his off...on purpose. He too looked funny without it.

So was Mr Peter jealous of Simons ever blosoming beard? Jealous of the attention it was getting from certain Australian ladies? Jealous enough to maybe get Simon incredibly drunk until he passed out then sneaking up on the helpless Simon shaved off his beard, telling him in the morning that he had done it all himself, while ratarsed by an "accident".

The man in the background of the above photo is in fact Mr Peters accomplis, world renowned beard hater, Ned No Beard. A genetic defect at birth left him unable to grow any kind of facial hair. It was he who provided the News at Twelvty with this exclusive photo from Mr Peters and Simons dorm room that fateful night.

Mr Peter has since confessed but refuses to comment to the news at twelvty. He has since regrown his beard. Simon is said to be recovering nicely and should have a beard again in 2-3 weeks.

The third most important birthday in the year

.....after mine and jesuss of course.

Saturday the 14th January was a very special day for the Big news at twelvty. It was the birthday of or favourite aquitted nose robbing criminal, Juanine!! She was a picture of beauty and compossure and happiness when she waltzed in the doors of her new favourite watering hole. We had balloons and streamers to welcome her. We even found friends....thought missing in action or at least in another bar, namely Lovebug Monks and Valerie.

But 20mins later and a couple of JDs and maybe it was also the fact that she was so overwhelmed by the turn out and her wonderful friends, she lost a little compossure and her vision got a little fuzzy...but she was still the picture of beauty.

Tonto and Mcfabuolus (most important and fourth most important birthdays in the year respectively) are well aware of the joy and fun and frolicks of birthdays and are big fans of present giving...especially when they are recieving said presents. Alas, its been a long week and both are smashed. But not to be out done or called names, they preformed their famous floating head trick for Juanine. Everyone was well impressed. Some were slightly scare. All you need is some sticky back plastic and a toilet roll insert. I've said too much.

Of course, drinking plays a big part in birthday celebrations. The drink of choice for the night was the baby guinness....mmmmmm. They so pretty. and so yummy. So pretty that it took Roisin a while to convince Valerie we should drink them. She really didn't need all that much convincing though.

The obligatory "we're about to do a shot picture". Theres always one.

But then when no one was looking....except for whoever took the photo, Tonto and Miss Mary did another. In an altogther fabulous way. Its tricking and must only be attempted under the supervision of trained professionals. Me and Mary will be glad to help. As long as we can a shot too.

So to recap. Fun was had be all. It was tame enough at the start. Lots of smiles and polite conversation. And odd men trying to get in on the photo.

But of course it never stays tame for too long. We even met new friends along the way. Happy birthday Juanine!! (remember its mine and mcfabulous's in 2 months :) )

Celebrity sighting!!!! Beakers Buckled

Once upon a time, roving reporter Poncho Tonto and cleared convict nose grabber Juanine were enjoying a typical, nice, relaxing, quite drinksies after worksies (that most definitely did not involve stumbling home). As I said it was a typlical...



UNTIL....they were encountered by this reporters favourite MUPPET (besides Ruadhan of course), Beaker!! He revealed that he is currently ahving problems with his muppet co-star Prof Bunsen Huneydew and so has come to Dublin promotional tour of science departments in Dublin to promote safety in labs.

Ever the amazing hostess, I offered a drink. He asked for a pint...which was not a problem until he got to the end.

It was a most enjoyable night until a certain person...who will remain nameless...lets call her Miss Trudy...picked him up to settled a scientific arguement and singed his hair on a candle. He is currently resting in a top Dublin hostel after under going a major hair transplant, which Miss Trudy has offered to pay for. Sources say he is was possibly the amount of alcohol in his system or the fact that he is made of plastic that caused him to burn so bad. He should make a full recovery but has vowed never to drink again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!....may it be better than last year

Roll on 2006!!!

The team at the Big News at Twelvty would like to wish all their faithful and sometimes and accidental readers a very very happy and prosperous new year!!

Its been a rollercoaster....between Ireland not making the world cup (again), the loss of some friends, the making of brand new spankin good ones, loss of memory and the gaining of weight and of course King Kong. And lots and lots of dancing YAY!!! and face painting hehehe. But its a new year a new house (for me YAY!!) new places to go out...loads more photos....because I've been lacking in that department boooo!!

The Big news at Twelvty would like to share with you how we, and some of our friends rang in our new year. Who knows it may inspire some of you out there for next year.

As we all know, with each year brings new technology. For example, in 2005 we only had balck and white cameras, and the timer was, ahem, less than perfect,.....as illustrated here...

But......2 minutes later in 2006....there was colour!!! And air guitar solos.

Dancing of course plays a huge part on New Years Eve. Everyone does it...please refer to let the news at twlevty teach you how to dance. Some new styles have come to our attention.

Breakdancing should not be taken lightly. While every wants to be able to do it, only a few can. Alan is not among that elite group

Not the bump is an easy dance that requires a friend. It is, in other words, a social dance. The big news at twelvty likes to be social. Try it. Its fun!!

Oh the bump....I met my first bo doing the bump. But he left me for another bo...i should've seen the signs. He was a much better dancer than me.

New Years resolutions are of course a necessary evil tradition, which everyone makes every year and breaks the very next day....2 days tops. Roisin is here making her list. It includes not biting her nails and seeing what its like to be a blonde. Oh and eat right and cut alans hair. I made similiar resolutions last year.

Aifric is seen here laughing. She has a tenner bet she won't keep them in less than a week. Shes smug and rightly so.

people forget though that other parts of the world have new years too!! I always forget anyway but then again I'm selfish.Sick of the rainy Irish weather and in search of new drink, young Peter B and Simone S left us this year for Thailand or somesuch country. This is what they may look like celebrating new years. Peter sings Auld lane syne (?) gayily (?) but I know he's crying on the inside.

Simons upset too....buton the outside. And not because he misses us....but because he can't find cider in the East. It seems like a place i might like.

I hope they're doing good.

We hope you're all doing fine!! So for one last time.....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!