Beardgate.........The truth

Like 'em or hate 'em, Beards have made a comeback of late. They are easily grown, medium maintainance, and add character, or in the case of some years to a mans face. They are also useful for hiding horrible looking scars.

Yesterday, Monday 23 January, intrepid traveller Simon Sayz "accidentally" shaved off his world famous "broom" beard. He is now beardless....and I mean this in the nicest possible way he looks a bit funny. But how ridiculous he looks is not the subject under scruntiny.

There was mixed reaction to the news. People were shocked and devasted, some were slightly relieved at the news that the beard was gone.

Close school chum, Greg Gory, commented, "I think he even had in primary school. In fact I vaguely remember teasing him over it when he was 6! I shouldn't have. I still can't grow one. Now he teases me."

But the big news at twelvty smelt a rat. A Peter shaped rat. A Peter, who having sported a fine beard for months gave into the heat and shaved his off...on purpose. He too looked funny without it.

So was Mr Peter jealous of Simons ever blosoming beard? Jealous of the attention it was getting from certain Australian ladies? Jealous enough to maybe get Simon incredibly drunk until he passed out then sneaking up on the helpless Simon shaved off his beard, telling him in the morning that he had done it all himself, while ratarsed by an "accident".

The man in the background of the above photo is in fact Mr Peters accomplis, world renowned beard hater, Ned No Beard. A genetic defect at birth left him unable to grow any kind of facial hair. It was he who provided the News at Twelvty with this exclusive photo from Mr Peters and Simons dorm room that fateful night.

Mr Peter has since confessed but refuses to comment to the news at twelvty. He has since regrown his beard. Simon is said to be recovering nicely and should have a beard again in 2-3 weeks.