Exactly how tall is Tonto?

It took a recent trip to Barcelona to shed some light on the subject. Yes we all know her mouth is very big, so big she can sometimes put her foot into it, but Tonto is actually is quite small.

So small she found it sometimes a little difficult to talk to and more importantly take pictures with her travelling companion, Kate, who is very very tall. They had to take pictures in two parts.....first Tonto...look as she gazes with pure admiration and inadequacy at her tall friend.

Then Kate....
Observe as she looks with pity on her short friend

Tonto is a mere speck when photographed beside a catherdral....


And when scaled against a (Spanish) garden variety fish bird kinda thing....


Yes, yes its a picture of a fish but the picture is drawn to scale. Poor Tonto.

Kate could squish her like berry if she wanted to....but of course she wouldn't cos they are the bestest of travelling mates.



So how did Tonto deal with the realisation that she is in fact smaller than a fish (with the exception of her mouth)....the only way she knows how!!!


And Kate?? She found Phil Collins

MUTINY??

The big news at twelvty were shocked and horrified to discover during the week of the near loss of their beloved rovingest of reporters, Tonto. It seems that during a recent trip to Galway, admist all the fun and games, and dogs and beers, was a sinister plot by other members of the Twlevty to have Tonto exterminated.

BY MAKING HER WALK THE PLANK!!!

Here is an exclusive picture of the plank walking.....see the look of pure fear and disappointment and heartbreak as Tonto gingerly inched towards the edge of the plank and thinks of her impending doom, but also thinks.....how could they do this to me!!!??? Haven't I been a good boss!!??

As it turns out it was only a prank, played on Tonto by the rest of Team Twelvty. She only got wet up to her knees. And that night they laughed about the incident. Bu tthe question remains....what trick is Tonto going to play on Team Twelvty.

Watch this space!!

Sangaria a day keeps the doctor away!!??

.........Tonto and Kate go to Barcelona for em research and well sun and stuff.

Barcelona is a wonderful, beautiful, brilliant city in Spain which Tonto i snow considering moving to and opening a bar in cos she loved it that much. There is so much to do. So much to see. And the shopping!! Oh the shopping!

But what stood out for Tonto and Kate most of all? What was their favourite thing about Barcelona?? The bestest export....Sangaria.

We were informed by locals that a glass a day keeps the doctor away so just to be sure we had a whole jug as we planned the rest of the trips activities.

Well Tonto listened and made sure the sangaria was still good while Kate sat down with lonely planet in one hand and glass in the other.

Before they knew it the jug was half empty!! But where did it go!? We were baffled. We'd only been sitting there a half hour or so.

The look of pure guilt. IT WAS KATE!!! Warning do not leave your sangaria alone with Mis Kate lee....it may not be there when you get back. Or at least will appear smaller. She apologised and she poured another glass for herself and myself. Her glass was notabley bigger. So I doubt very much she meant it.

So does sangaria in fact keep the doctor away....As yet my study is incomplete. It does however ensure a happy tummy and a chat or five with fellow travellers who have also taken to heart the doctor away theory, so if its wrong who the hell wants to be right.

Photos however taken after copious amounts of sangaria may not be of a great standard.

Ou est les Citizens of Drunkendancesstan!!??

..............is Tonto left on her lonesome??!!

It has been brought to our attention by members of Team Adventure that Drunkendancesstan has been a bit quiet of late. Tonto, who is as it happens Minister for the interior and general happiness of Drunkendancesstan, took it upon herself to find out where everyone was. She herself has been keeping the nations flag (which has yet to be decided on) flying high with many drunken dancing night.



She doned her infered contacts and superhero reading glasses and set to work. When the reading glasses come out you know Tonto means business.

Mehican Ambassador and newly appointed minister for foreign affairs, Juanine, it would seem has temporarily left the good country of Drunkendancesstan for foreign shores. She left on a boat sometime Saturday morning for the Isle of Diagnosia off the coast of Studonia, her final destination The peoples republic of Higher Diploma. She left no indication of a return.



The Minister for Candy, who has been missing since like, geeny mack, March of something, seemed slightly confused, as if she had never heard of Drunkendancesstan or even her post of Minister for Candy.



As it turns out the flash was just a little bit too strong and she has agreed to rejoin the government. She has been busy expanding the nation of Drunkendancesstan by looking at possible colonies in Wicklow.

And El Presidente!? Weeeelllll, that is top secret as it happens and it took the Big News at Twelvty a very long time, tears, sweat, blood and a lot of brownies (not special ones...the ones made with love and lots and lots of chocolate) to find it out. McFabulous aka El Presidente aka SUPER Eeeeeeee!!!


Forget the Guinness Quality Team....Super Eeeeeeee ensures the most delicious pints of Guinness across the country and punishes all those who try and cheat the innocent public of a decent pint. See here how whe saves an innocent public from a sub par pint....with the greatest of eeeeeeeese.

So Simon I hope that answers your question.